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The War

There are times when we lose our inner balance. We are broken and we need to be fixed. We sometimes try to find help within others, we reach out but what they offer is not enough to get us back up on track. We need to  fight too. We need to have the will to change what we feel. We need to step back and analyse. Look deep inside our hearts and minds and see what’s behind it all, what is causing all that, and more important – why? We’re half way there, as soon as we find the answer to the last question. But we need to be true to ourselves. We need to dig well, deep inside and find the real motive for feeling that way.

I was just about to say that the rest is easy. That we just need to figure out a way out and make it happen.

But the truth is that it is never easy. No matter how well-determined you are, it’s never easy to fight against yourself. ‘Cause in the end, that’s what you have to do. You have to fight that self that tells you that all is lost and it will never be as good as it was before. You need to have the power to hold your position no matter what arguments your other self brings. You need to be positive that you will get over it because you are strong and because you WANT to get over it.

You need to focus on the good aspects of your life and everything that happened and leave aside the negative ones for the time being. You need to surround yourself with love, peace,  light, joy and laughter. They are easier to find than you would expect it.

So have you ever felt lost and alone? Have you ever felt that there was no tomorrow? No hope? No reason to go on?

Well, I have. And I fought hard, each time. And I got back on my feet. I never lost a battle. But  my war is not over. What about yours?

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Feel! Live! Enjoy!

We are born and we feel scared of the unknown, of what this bright and cold world can bring. That we feel our mother’s scent and we know we’ve found our rock in the storm. We hang on to her and we never want to let go. She knows everything, she gives us what we want and it just feels good. Then we go to kindergarden and we feel lost. Mom’s not there, dad’s not there, so many children and people we don’t know, a new schedule. Yet, there are toys to play with and we slowly forget about our worries and it all starts to be good again.

We go to school, college, university, but we’ve got used to all this, it’s just something that provides us with different “toys” that we can play with. With each step we leave people behind and we feel sorrow, we miss them and sometimes feel that we want to turn back time. But we never do, we can never do that. So we start adapting to the changes and we start enjoying the novelty brought along by each stage in our lives.

We fall in love and we feel that the Earth starts spinning around just for us. We fly to the moon and back and we feel strong, funny, intelligent and appreciated, we feel that we can achieve anything. And then we get our wings cut off and we fall down hard hitting the ground. It hurts and we swear we’ll never do this again. But we do, we always do. At least until we find “THE ONE”, if we are lucky and we actually do. We start bulding a life together and we feel it will last forever. We feel relaxed and loved and cared about and no longer lonely. We feel that this person will always be there for us. Sometimes “always”and “forever” reach an end sooner than expected and we go through the entre cycle over and over again. Or we just give up and choose to be our own partner in life. Or maybe, if we make it happen, “always” and “forever”keep their meaning and we share love, friendship, respect and tenderness with our “one and only” for a lifetime and more.

Then we have children and we feel that we want to give them the entire world, we feel that we are children again. We fool around and we play and we joke and we make fun of ourselves, just to get one smile, one laughter, one happy child. We suffer when our children are hurt and we want to make the world a better place for them. We fight and we work and we want to provide them with the best there is. And sometimes we forget the important things in life and we lose ourselves in our own world, without noticing that others want to be a part of it too.

We sometimes lose the ones we love most. They are either taken away from us or they choose to leave. That is when we feel sorry we didn’t make the time to talk to them more, to spend more time with together.

Sometimes we have problems and we don’t know where to turn to, we feel nervous, stressed, agitated, upset, we feel like there’s no tomorrow, we feel strangled and alone. Those are the times when we find more strength that we knew there was in us. We can overcome any obstacles, it’s in our nature to do so.

And, at some point, it is time for us to leave everything behind. We find ourselves alone in front of the last step in our life. We might feel scared, happy, relieved, resentful, forgiving or relaxed. Yet, that is not the end, it is just another beginning.

Life is about feelings more than anything else. So plan your life and live it the way you want but never give up what is rightfully yours: your feelings! You may deny them, you may choose to ignore them but they will always be there, inside.

I don’t even want to imagine a life without feelings, it would be a life not worth living.

Enjoy your feelings!

Time

If you were to die tomorrow, would you be ok with your life so far? I know I wouldn’t. There are so many things I still want to do, things that I keep telling myself “I still have time to do”.

Well, sometimes you just reach a point where you realize that time is up. And there is nothing left to do. Some say that you simply need to organize your priorities. Maybe they are right, but I doubt it. Most of us leave the vital things aside, finding excuses like “work”, “friends”, “computer”,  “email”, “tired today” and the list could continue. It’s hard to give up our comfort and addictions, thinking that “I’ve still got time”.

So, once again: if you were to die tomorrow, would you be ok with your life so far?

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