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42 lessons

I really loved reading this, and agree with most (if not all) of them, so I wanted to share it with you, my friends 🙂


Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 42 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I’ve ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it..

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

10. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

11. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

12. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it…

14 Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

15. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

16. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

17. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

20. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

21. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

22. The most important sex organ is the brain.

23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

25. Always choose life.

26. Forgive but don’t forget.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does..

31. Believe in miracles.

32. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

33. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

34. Your children get only one childhood.

35. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

36. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

37. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

38. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.

39. The best is yet to come…

40. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

41. Yield.

42. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”


Today I feel like I am failing on every level. I am failing as a mom, I am failing at work, I am failing in every aspect of my life. Everything has become too stressful and I simply cannot cope with all of it.

I used to be so sure about everything and anything, really. I knew what was important and what wasn’t. I was able to make decisions quickly and without over-analysing things. I knew just what to do and when to do it. I was sure I was doing the right thing and I really was.

Now I doubt myself at every step, it doesn’t even matter what I do. I am not sure about anything anymore. The easiest thing seems extremely complicated to me. I can no longer see solutions to problems, I find it hard to focus as it is difficult for me to decide what to focus on, it’s like I am not myself anymore.

I have no idea how to get over this…


I’m definitely one of those people who sometimes say one thing and the others understand another. I have no idea why this happens to me. I attended communication trainings, I read books and articles, I pay attention to my words. People tell me I do not have a communication problem. Yet, words come back to haunt me. The worst part of all this is that when I realise what people understand, I try to explain. And it only gets worse. Instead of convincing them I meant something else, I somehow manage to convince them of the opposite. There’s no escape, or none that I can see.

Why is this so consuming? Because I don’t like people misinterpreting my words. There are so many things that can be interpreted in this world, so many hidden meanings, we’re trained to spot and take hints (sometimes based on intonation alone) in order to reach the true meaning of a story. I think we sometimes forget to just take a message for what it is. If I say I like some piece of furniture, it simply means that I like it, not that I want it. Also, if I say that I like you, it just means that I like you as a person, not that I want something from you.

Maybe I just lost a battle, an evolution battle. Other people have evolved to the state where they see a thousand other words disguised under a simple statement. They are survivors. They know it is important to be sharp and read the intentions of your opponent instantly. I am one of those who have been left behind. I still (childishly) keep telling the truth on most occasions, instead of hiding it under a rock until someone discovers it.

Would it be possible for me to become one of the survivors? Definitely, if I put my mind at it. However, I’ve realised that it would take too much energy and I feel like it would be a waste. I can use my energy for other purposes, for things that are truly important to me.

So please, if you’re not sure what I mean, ask me. If I explain, believe me. Stop assuming things and creating stories in your head. Sometimes, words just deliver a simple message instead of an undercover story.

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