Archive for » January, 2015 «

Unde e iubirea?

Iubirea e in felul in care se uita la tine si timpul se opreste, Pamantul inceteaza sa se mai invarta, iar restul oamenilor nu mai conteaza.

E in ochii lui atunci cand te strange in brate fericit sa te vada dupa o zi intreaga in care ati fost despartiti.

E in supa de pui pe care ti-o face cu grija, atunci cand tu esti bolnava si nu te poti ridica din pat.

E in plimbarea cu barca pe care ai platit-o ca sa fii cu ea, departe de restul lumii, desi esti student si nu stii daca iti raman destui bani pentru toata luna.

E in felul in care te tine in brate chiar si cand doarme.

E in puterea cu care te strange de mana, fericit ca esti langa el.

E in lacrimile pe care le varsa la tine in brate, pentru ca doar acolo se simte in siguranta si isi poate plange amarul.

E in planuri si vise cu ochii deschisi, e in ziua petrecuta impreuna, pe care nu o poti uita desi ati facut lucruri absolut banale.

E in ghiocelul tinut cu grija sub geaca de piele (cat timp a strabatut el jumatate din oras pe jos) doar ca sa ajunga intact in mainile tale, pentru ca stie ca adori florile, pentru ca a vrut sa iti aduca el primavara si zambetul in ochi.

E in telefonul pe care il dai doar ca sa vezi daca a ajuns cu bine si in mesajul in care i-l trimiti ca sa stie ca esti ok.

E in mana pe care ti-o intinde cand nici tu nu stii ca ai nevoie de ea.

E in tacerea confortabila pe care nu simtiti nevoia sa o umpleti pentru ca e deja plina de iubire.

E in felul in care vine brusc si te pupa, fara nici un motiv aparent, fara nici o explicatie, fara sa ceara nimic in schimb.

E in pranzul pe care il iei la MCDonalds, pentru ca lui ii e pofta, desi tie nu iti place mancarea de acolo.

E in felul in care in care te ridica atunci cand esti jos, iti aranjeaza parul si iti sterge lacrimile cu drag.

E in fiecare zi in care nu poate pleca fara sa iti spuna “Te iubesc cel mai mult”.

Iubirea e in noi, in fiecare dintre noi. Asteapta une0ri sa fie descoperita, traita, recunoscuta si sarbatorita asa cum se cuvine, in fiecare zi. Cu gesturi frumoase, blande, pline de rabdare si intelegere, cu zambete dar si cu lacrimi. Iubirea e “un rosu si un albastru impreuna”, e daruire, iertare si speranta. E gratis si e cel mai frumos dar pe care il poti face cuiva. Asa ca daruiti…


No Light

So let’s just assume you have a life. It may be a nicely planned one – you know, the usual stuff… marriage, kids, a house, a car, friends to hang out with, financial independence… Let’s say you’re on the right path and you feel like the luckiest person in the world. Life is beautiful and people are great!

And then things start changing. Nothing major, just a small failure that brings you down a bit, but not too much, cause everyone has some bad moments every now and then. After all, you’re strong, you’ll make it work! And then it happens again, probably on a different level. Still, it must be just a phase you’re going through. You think it will be over soon, you think you can fight this and the sun will shine again. But then another thing messes up your ‘plan’, and another one, and another one. Yet you don’t give up, cause you’re an optimistic sucker. Slowly failure becomes an everyday presence.  All of a sudden, the luckiest person in the world starts failing on every level. So you try to hang on to those things you were best at. Or thought you were best at… only to realize you are no longer good at anything. It all gets taken away from you, piece by piece.

Out of the blue (well, not really… in happened in time), you get to the point where you have nobody to turn to – nobody to talk to, nobody who would listen, nobody who would support you or offer advice when you need it, nobody who cares. You’re pretty much alone. People you thought would be there for you are not. You find yourself alone, struggling to find a way out. But you can’t. Care to guess why? Cause there’s no way out really. You’re there to stay. No point in fighting. No energy for that either. You spent it all hoping for better days. Lying to yourself it would get better. Building the image of a person who is happy and has no problems when in fact you are at the end of all strength.

And then there is that final drop. The one that pushes you over the edge. It can be as little as a simple conversation or somebody who asked you to repeat something because they could not hear you. It doesn’t even matter what the trigger is. You just collapse. Everything you believed in is long gone. There’s nothing and no one to keep you from drowning. There is no light at the end of the tunnel because there is no tunnel.

It is a hole and you are just digging deeper …