Archive for » June, 2014 «

Impreuna

Azi… Azi sunt obosita. Azi ma simt incapabila sa mai fac un pas, indiferent de directie. Nu vreau sa merg inapoi, nu vreau sa merg inainte si sigur nu imi place punctul in care sunt. Nu mai am energie sa mai lupt pentru nimic. Si pentru nimeni.

Ma tem ca o sa lupt prea mult si ca in final o sa imi dau seama ca a fost degeaba. Si ca am irosit timp, energie, sentimente si vointa in ceva ce nu avea cum sa fie al meu din start. Mi-e urat de momentul in care realizez ca drumul chiar s-a terminat. Il cunosc prea bine. Ii cunosc dezolarea. Si dezamagirea. Si apoi, cea mai greu de dus, resemnarea… prietena buna cu regretul.

Dar pana in punctul ala mai e o zi. Si poate inca una. Si stiu ca maine o voi lua de la capat, pentru ca sunt incapatanata si merg pana in panzele albe pentru ceea ce-mi doresc. Pentru ca nu renunt la primul obstacol, la primul “nu”, primul spate intors si prima usa inchisa in nas. Sau a doua… sau poate chiar si a treia…

Pentru ca inca┬ámai cred in oameni si in mine. Cred ca impreuna putem sa facem drumul sa mearga mai departe. Doar impreuna… Doar daca vrem…

 

Letting go

There are people you simply want in your life. You can’t figure out the reason, you just feel you need them around. You do your best to keep them close, to keep them happy so that they don’t leave. You go out of your way with small or big things, just because! You invest a lot of time and energy without ever being sure you’re on the right path, without knowing if you’re winning them over or slowly losing them.

And then, at some point in time, you realise you can only do that much. When you’re left with no energy and no desire to go on, you realise it takes two to make a friendship work. You realise that wanting something really hard and making all the efforts from your side is just not enough. It takes two.

A friendship cannot be fueled by one. So, when you’re empty, lost, tired and dissappointed, you let go…

You can’t force someone to be in your life just because you feel they belong there. At some point you just have to let them go and see if they ever find their way back to you…

I hope they do.